Spencer's Housemates
by lazywriter123
Summary: Sequal to "Spencer's Roommate", Spencer is living in a large town house complex with six other housemates, each of them more funny and out-of-control then the next. Prepare for insanity
1. A new home

I don't own Criminal Minds

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Here is a quick summery of all of Spencer's house mates-

**Emma**- a 23 year old girl who plays the metal guitar and loves to express herself, even if it hurts her housemate's ear drums in the process.

**Shane**- a bodybuilder who seems like a brawler but has a heart of gold, plus he owns a cat named Bell.

**Kyle- **a single father of twin boys, **Eddy and Phil** who cause him headaches every single day, but he still loves them.

**Wendy-** an elderly woman who used to be a popular singer and did one tour. She loves to garden now and enjoy a good game of chess with Spencer.

**Paul and Jamie-** a single 30 year old man who still lives with his mom, Jamie. They have arguments all the time but still somehow tolerate each other.

The landlord may appear a few times, his name is **Mark. **

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Spencer set up his small apartment in the large town house. He had two rooms and a small bathroom. There was a laundry room outside and down the hall so he could do his laundry later on. There was a kitchen in the house that was on the first floor. It was quite big and had a large table in the center. The fridge was huge too, could hold enough food to feed an army.

The house itself had three levels. The first one had the kitchen, main room, the garage, a door to a small backyard and the small garden. The second floor was where his room and several other rooms were and the laundry room. The final floor had a few more rooms and a sun room that had a huge window. There was also a ladder that was attached to the wall that led to the roof. Overall the place was spacious and comfortable. Spencer briefly met the other housemates quickly but didn't really talk to them yet.

He unpacked and set up his apartment with the help of Morgan, JJ, and Garcia. Once he was set up, the left and said they would see him tomorrow at work. It was almost dinner time when he was done, so he went downstairs to find something to eat. There he saw everyone waiting at the large table. Mark, the landlord was also waiting. "We wanted to welcome you to our house and explain the rules and how things work around here before dinner." Spencer nodded.

**Rules of the house:**

No loud music after 7:30pm

Every night someone in the house makes dinner, it changes by day. You'll make dinner every Wednesday. But since you told me that your job makes you leave for a few days, you must inform me about it. No shellfish for Shane and no peanuts for the twins.

Make sure to lock the door every time you leave the house.

The final rule, DON'T GIVE SCABBY GRILLED CHEESE…EVER.

Spencer blinked at the last rule, "Scabby?"

"The homeless guy who comes by to the ally way near the house, he sits under the kitchen window. He took a nasty head injury in Vietnam. He is a bit…off. He doesn't want to go to the shelter but we do give him some food and some supplies, like blankets and stuff when he comes around here. But don't give him grilled cheese."

"Why not" asked Spencer. "Well when you do he starts to throw the cheese at you and rubs it on the wall. Do you know how hard it to clean crusty cheese off a wall. Took me hours" said Mark.

"Ah…I see."

"So today, Shane is cooking us curry chicken with rice. Take a seat." He gestured over to the empty chair at the table. Spencer sat down and Shane gave out plates of the chicken dinner.

"Damn it Shane, I don't like curry" yelled Emma.

"We you need to eat something decent after all the chip bags you eat in one day" said Wendy.

They started to eat the chicken and Emma continued to complain, "God it's spicy, what did you do? Dump the spice rack over the chicken."

The twin boys snickered as they eat the chicken quietly. "I put ketchup on mine. Yummy" said Eddy. "Well I put chocolate icing on mine "said Phil. "Eww, you children eat the most repulsive things" said Jamie.

Spencer ate in silence for a while until Paul tapped on his shoulder, "He Spencer…that blonde girl that was helping you unpack today…is she single?"

Jamie snorted, "Oh please, you're an unemployed lay about who still lives with his mother. You can't even wash and dry your own damn underwear. Last time you did, you nearly set the elastic waistband on fire." The others laughed, Spencer had a feeling he was going to like it here at the town house.

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	2. Breakin!

I don't own Criminal Minds

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Spencer and Wendy were playing chess in the common room. "Checkmate" said Spencer. Wendy laughed, "Someday I'll beat you Dr. Reid." Spencer smiled and blushed a bit. "So Spencer, did you have any new cases recently?" "Oh no, you wouldn't want to hear them. They're very gruesome and disturbing." She shook her head, "Well alright…I suppose dealing with homicidal maniacs is not the most appealing thing to do." "Well do you have any good stories" asked Spencer. She pondered for a moment.

"Well, back when I was on tour, me and my friends stopped at a small town somewhere in the mid-west. Not too far off from Kansas City. We were going to do a show there but our truck broke down. Anyway while the mechanic was fixing up it up, we all stopped in a small bar/lounge called The Coyote House. Very nice place with great drinks and music. The leading act that night was a man called Roger Walker. He sung like an angel and he was graceful and god-like. My God what a singer he was. After he finished his act, we both sat at a bar together and talked until the bar closed. My friends got the truck and he gave me a kiss before I left. I never saw him again." She sighed, "Some of the best stories can happen in the most unusual places." Spencer smiled.

"EMMA TURN THAT DAMN MUSIC DOWN" shouted Shane.

"UP YOURS, MUSCLE-HEAD" she shouted back.

"You're going to WAKE UP my bell."

"Who cares about your stupid cat?"

"I CARE ABOUT MY STUPID CAT, YOU TALENTLESS MONKEY!"

Spencer and Wendy sighed, "The peace in this house is short lived…you would think after a while they would get along" said Wendy. Spencer nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, Eddy and Phil came into the room with a box full of toy cars and action-figures. "SUPERMAN" they shouted when they pulled out two superman action-figures. Wendy chuckled.

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Later that night, while everyone was asleep, a cat burglar managed to open one of the windows on the main floor and got into the town house. He slowly crept in and went up the stairs. He saw a few doors and decided to enter the one to the left. It was Spencer's room. He picked the lock and got in. He was about to creep closer to Spencer's bed but then he heard a growl behind him. A large lizard was at his feet, hissing at him. Then the lizard lunged and attacked him. Spencer woke up to the sound of screaming, and so did the rest of the house.

"HAMLET" shouted Spencer, when the robber managed to throw him away and it hit the wall. The others burst into the room. Emma had a bat, Shane had a crowbar, Kyle had a sword, Wendy had a cane, and Paul had a bowling ball.

"Kyle where did you get a sword" asked Emma.

"…I don't know."

They looked back at the robber, "ATTACK" screamed Wendy. They pummeled the burglar into a crying heap.

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The police arrived soon after, along with an ambulance. "Get…those nutjobs…away from me" said the burglar.

The whole house was sitting out on the sideway waiting for the police to let them back inside.

"You know…I never thought I could bend someone's spine that way" said Shane.

"Neither did I "said Spencer.

"I say when we get back into our home, we celebrate our victory with Sundays" shouted Emma. They cheered in agreement.

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	3. No heat!

I don't own Criminal Minds

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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY CAN"T BE HERE THIS WEEK" shouted Shane. Mark sighed sadly.

"I'm sorry guys, I know its cold and the heater has been broken for two days but the repair man has tons of orders from all over the city. He said he'll be able to come next week…maybe…"

"MAYBE" shouted Shane. "Mark, the boys and I are freezing, how can we live like this for another week" said Kyle. Phil and Eddy stood behind him, shivering.

Spencer walked into the house and shivered, "The repair man is still not here huh" he asked.

The others nodded, "The weather channel said it will be a huge snow storm tonight. I've already packed the refrigerator and cabinets with emergency provisions" said Mark. The others sighed, "Oh man we'll all freeze to death" said Jamie.

"Oh relax, let's just go to the common room and use the fireplace" said Wendy.

"YAY, we can make smores" shouted the twins.

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Everyone was sitting in the common room, under a mountain of blankets and pillows. Mark and Paul were struggling to get the chimney open.

"God…this thing has been closed for years. It's rusted completely" said Mark.

"Oh for goodness sake" said Shane. He got up and with all of his strength, opened the large iron door in the chimney.

"YAY" shouted the twins. Suddenly they started to hear screeching. "What's that noise?"

In a matter of seconds, bats starting flying out of the chimney and into the common room.

"AHHH, get them away before they poop in my hair" shouted Emma.

"Cool, bat poop. Just like Batman" shouted the twins.

Finally, Spencer managed to open a few of the windows to let the bats fly out.

"I HATE BATS" shouted Wendy. "Alright calm down, the bats are gone. Let's just get the fire going."

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Soon the fire was burning brightly and they were all sitting around the fire.

"Ok so anyone have any stories" asked Paul.

"I have one" said Paul and then stayed silent.

"…ok what's the story…" asked Emma.

"…Oh you want to hear it" asked Paul.

Everyone was silent, "You're a moron you know that" said Jamie.

"I know mom."

"Anyway…I say we get some sleep, it's very late" said Mark.

Everyone nodded in agreement. In about twenty minutes, everyone was asleep on the sea of pillows and blankets in the common room. Hamlet was sleeping soundly next to Spencer. When he opened his eyes and saw Hamlet he smiled and gently scratched his ears. Hamlet purred.

"Yeah buddy…I miss Greg too."

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Spencer woke up to the sound of the pots and pans being shifted about in the kitchen in the other room. Spencer stretched his back and walked into the kitchen where he smelled breakfast. Jamie was making pancakes. "Oh good you're up, have some food before the breakfast rush wakes up." She handed a plate to Spencer.

"Thank you Jamie." He then sat down at the table to eat.

"You know Spencer…your really nice to have around. Everyone in this house is so noisy and crazy…you're the most normal person I've ever met."

Spencer smiled, "Thanks Jamie, I really enjoy living with everyone here."

"Yep it's like having a second family or something…you know you should invite your mom. I would love to meet her."

Spencer stiffed and sighed sadly. "I don't think she can."

"Oh why…is she sick?"

"…in a way yes."

Jamie sat down next to him, "Spencer…whatever is happening to your mom must be hard on you but she is still your mom. I'm sure no matter how or where she is…she is proud to be your mom."

Spencer smiled, "Thanks…I really needed to hear that." She smiled, "Good, now eat those pancakes…your skinnier then my sister's daughter."

They laughed and soon enough, the others joined them for breakfast.

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	4. Late at Night

I don't own Criminal Minds

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Spencer came home that day, extremely weary after just coming home from a case in Seattle. It was late, so Spencer went up to his room and washed up for bed. Hamlet walked to his side and gently nudged his leg.

"Hamlet always knows when I'm upset or tired" thought Spencer. He smiled down at the lizard and followed him to his bed and curled up at his feet. With a sad sigh, he rolled onto his side and stared out the window. It was a rough case, ending in seven dead people one of them was a child. Still the unsub was caught and in jail…but that didn't seem enough. He just wished he would fall asleep.

"FOR GOD SAKE PAUL" shouted Jamie from their room. Spencer jerked out of bed when he heard her yell and Hamlet looked towards the door.

"MOM, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS." He heard the sound of muffled talking and a big fat…SLAP.

"YOU LIVE WITH YOUR MOTHER?"

Spencer snorted, trying to contain his laughter. "OH COME ON BABY…"

"DON'T BABY ME! YOUR STILL A BABY YOURSELF, IF YOU STILL GET FED DINNER FROM YOUR MOMMY."

He heard a door slam and loud stomping down the stairs and out the door. Spencer lied back on the bed…the he burst out in laughter. Soon he heard the others join him in his amusement over what had occurred.

"HEY PAUL…STILL WORKING ON WIFE NUMBER ONE" shouted Shane.

"NO LUCK TONIGHT HUH" shouted Emma.

"OH SHUT UP" cried Paul as everyone just kept laughing.

"This is better when you tried to ask that girl on a date over the phone" Spencer heard Wendy say.

How could he forget that day?

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Spencer and Wendy were walking into the kitchen when they saw Paul on the phone. They sat at the table and watched him talk to someone nervously on the phone.

"So…uh…yeah…would you like to get Italian or something like that?"

Suddenly Scabby came through the opened window and Emma started screaming.

"RUN SCABBY HAS GRILLED CHEESE!"

He started flinging it everywhere, the walls, the furniture and the doors.

"WHO GAVE SCABBY THE CHEESE" cried Mark.

Paul was still on the phone and tried to cover up the noise.

"No its just the T.V…no, no one else lives with me. Suddenly Jamie comes in and tells him to help stop Scabby.

"OK MOM!"

"Anyway Debbie I…hello…"

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Spencer laughed harder at the memory; he thought he had it bad with dates. Then came along good old Paul.

Suddenly Spencer forgot about how bad he felt after the case and went to sleep, still giggling a little.

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	5. A quiet evening at home

I don't own Criminal Minds

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Spencer was coming home from another day at the office; he was looking forward to a nice evening at home with a new book he got the other day. With a smile and a sigh, he walked through the front door.

"SPENCER! THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE KITCHEN!"

Spencer fell over when Emma practically jumped on him in complete terror. So did Wendy, Jamie and her son Paul.

"Oh Paul really" asked Spencer. He shivered, "I HATE snakes."

Spencer sighed, so much for a quiet evening. He got up off the floor and went into the kitchen; he got a broom from the closet on the way there.

After several minutes, Spencer came out of the kitchen with a green tube sock.

"It's just a sock that was left behind the radiator" said Spencer. Everyone sighed with relief, until Kyle and his twin sons came running down.

"SPENCER! THERE'S A SPIDER IN OUR ROOM!"

"Of for the love of God" sighed Spencer. He went upstairs with a newspaper and in a few minutes, had a dead spider in the newspaper. He threw it out in the garbage.

"Ok Spider is dead…ok?"

Every nodded and smiled. Spencer went up to his room to feed Hamlet when…."SPENCER! THERE IS A GIANT RAT IN THE BATHROOM!"

Spencer growled and he walked up to the bathroom door, where Mark and Shane were waiting for him.

"I know that there is now damn rat…"

Just then a HUGE black rat came running out of the bathroom. "HOLY S…."

"HEY watch your language" shouted Jamie.

Everyone was screaming and running, either trying to catch the rat or avoid it at all cost.

"Here mousy, mousy…were won't hurt you" said Shane as he carried a large shovel, ready to strike the rodent.

Just then the rat came out and Shane hit it with his shovel. "Is it dead?"

Spencer looked at the rat and nodded, "Yep…I'll bring it outside."

They all sighed in relief as Spencer put the rat in a bag and brought it outside.

Finally Spencer was able to go upstairs to read his book in peace and quiet.

Until… "PAUL WHY CAN'T YOU FIND A WOMAN AND MOVE OUT ALREADY" shouted Jamie.

Spencer put down his book and sighed, he got out a set of ear plugs. He bought a case of them a few weeks ago…for good reason.

He laid back on the bed and picked up his book. It wasn't a relaxing evening…but it wasn't boring at least.

**No animals were harmed in the writing of this fan-fic.**

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